“Well, it’s happened. Nintendo has released the new Pokémon app to help us sleep, all while catching creatures here and there: ‘Pokémon Sleep’ must be used in a very specific way (with the phone turned on facing down, connected to the Internet, placed by your side on the mattress, and plugged into the power source). However, in return, it allows you to wake up with the serotonin boost from having achieved something without doing anything in return. If only life were more like ‘Pokémon Sleep’.”
Two mimir
But the new Pokémon app has another secret: it also records audio of the most significant moments that occur during your hours of sleep. These could range from snores to conversations with your partner, the cat knocking over a glass in the kitchen, not-so-stealthy thieves, or indeed, involuntary flatulence. Do you want to wake up and find out exactly how many disgusting sounds your body can produce when you’re not in control? This seems to be your solution.
It’s true that these recordings only last for 24 hours and then they are permanently deleted, or so they say at the company. Who knows, maybe there’s a Nintendo server dedicated solely to the population’s flatulence during their REM state. They took four years to design the application, so it’s reasonable to expect that they’ll do something interesting with all the recordings they gather.
If you are very protective of your privacy and want to ensure that soon a Pokémon won’t use your nocturnal noises as an attack sound, you can also deactivate the recording, gaining privacy at the cost of losing some hilarity and the “See? I told you, you snore!” moment with your suffering partner, to whom you’ll have to explain, in the first place, why you’re playing a game even while you sleep.
Oh, and if you happen to sleep exceptionally well, you might be rewarded with a shiny Pokémon. It’s not entirely clear whether you’ll need to produce a certain guttural sound to obtain it at night. Perhaps trying to catch them all may not be the best idea this time around.
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