Tag: game of thrones

In 2011, “Game of Thrones” debuted on HBO and the word “khaleesi” was uttered on national television for the first time. It’s the Dothraki word for “queen,” and a term of endearment and respect for Daenerys Targaryen, the then-child bride of Khal Drogo.

As the story followed Daenerys, we saw that she was much more than a victim. She was a survivor, a leader, a liberator, and a force to be reckoned with. These are all great qualities a parent might want associated with their daughter, so the name “Khaleesi” began appearing on the Social Security Administration’s list of Top 1,000 names.

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Three years after the show debuted, 369 baby girls named “Khaleesi” were born. But more would follow…

• 2015: 341
• 2016: 373
• 2017: 467
• 2018: 560

That’s right. Last year, “Khaleesi” was the 549th most popular girl name in the United States, beating out Hanna, Ivanna, Sasha, Marie, Gloria, and Anne. Kelly and Monica? Old news. All hail Khaleesi!

But here’s the thing about naming your child after a fictional character before that character’s story is finished: it’s a terrible idea. Daenerys Targaryen is now the woman who massacred nearly a million people in a fiery bloodbath.

And it’s not like these Khaleesis, when applying for jobs, will be able to tell their future employers that they’re named after their great-aunt Khaleesi or the famous inventor, Khaleesi Mountbatten-Windsor. They are clearly and obviously named after a fictional crazy lady who boffed her nephew and burned people alive. And she could be even worse in the series finale.

Will Daenerys manage a last-second heroic turn for all those baby Khaleesis out there? Or will she somehow make things even harder for these girls? If the last episode was any indication, those 2,110 babies are in for a lifetime of deep sighs and resignation.

So there’s probably no way “Game of Thrones” could end in a way that would please everybody. It’s kind of like when you’d watch “Survivor” and your 10 favorite players are eliminated, so you’re left rooting for Backstabber #4 over Lazy Waste of Space #3. Too many exciting avenues have been closed for this show. The Night King is long dead. Cersei remained the only Big Bad. We’ve been on a collision course with something less than ideal for a while now.

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What made this show great was an array of intriguing characters, each with his or her own motivation. But now, all the characters are following straight lines as if there were a race to see who can get to their death scene first. This image, floating around the internet, pretty much sums up the show:

And the actors know what’s up, too.

In case you’ve forgotten how far this show has fallen, remember these highlights from Season 2:

Let’s run a little exercise. Let’s say you were the writer of this episode and you were instructed that the only major things that needed to happen are that Daenerys needs to go all Mad Queen and the Good Guys need to realize they backed the wrong horse. First, there’s no reason for the first 30 minutes of this episode. Dany was at the gates of King’s Landing at the end of the last episode. She could have mounted Drogon and torched the city right away. And if you were going to write an episode where that happened, you might include a few moments for the characters to talk about what’s happening. Maybe Tyrion could have devised a way to try to stop her. Maybe Jon could have tried to signal her. Maybe Jon could have commanded his army to fall back after the Lannister surrender, possibly even having to fight the Unsullied for direction of the battle.

Instead, the last hour(!) is basically just Dany burning King’s Landing to the ground unimpeded. Did Jaime and Cersei really die this way? If so, lame! Did the Cleganebowl really justify the hype? No!

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Again, think back to when The Mountain fought Oberyn Martell. Although that was a fight scene, there were the added stakes of having Tyrion’s life on the line. The Cleganebowl was just two people fighting. It would be easy to add tension if literally anything else was at stake. Maybe defeating The Mountain would save Arya or allow Jon to get to the top of the Red Keep to flag down Dany. Instead, it’s just two guys fighting. And that’s the difference between the early seasons and whatever is happening in Season 8.

But we can complain about what might have been for hours. Instead, we must deal with what is. So here’s what happened in “The Bells.”

We begin with Varys, Master of Whispers, writing a scroll about how Jon is the true heir to the Iron Throne. Jon arrives and Varys becomes Master of Yells, as he stands on a beach and says his treason plans out loud. Jon says thanks, but no thanks. Tyrion, fully aware of Dany’s lack of mercy and reason, tells her about Varys anyway.

Varys knows what’s up. The Unsullied show up and drag him off for execution. Everyone shrugs and Drogon lights him up.

Daenerys hands Grey Worm Missandei’s collar and he chucks it in the fire. Jon walks in and Dany tries to put the moves on him. Jon demures and Dany is frustrated.

Tyrion tries to talk Dany out of her plan. If Cersei surrenders, he hopes Dany will pull back. As we are reminded at least four times in this episode, “If you hear the bells, that means surrender. Please stop murdering.” Dany tells Tyrion they’ve captured Jaime.

Tyrion visits Jaime in chains. Not to harp on the deteriorated writing of the series again, but remember back to when Jaime visited a condemned Tyrion in his cell:

That scene takes less than six minutes, but gives us a window into both men and their view of the world. There are no such scenes in “The Bells,” but there are plenty of scenes of beetle smashing.

Jaime and Tyrion share a very blunt conversation. Tyrion thanks Jaime for being a solid older brother, then sets him free. Tyrion urges Jaime to convince Cersei to flee King’s Landing. If that happens, he helpfully reminds Jaime to ring the bells on his way out.

At King’s Landing, Dany is ready to throw down. She and Drogon wipe out the Iron Fleet with zero problems. (Despite the fact that every giant crossbow on water and land are aimed at the dragon, no one can hit Drogon this week.) The dragon also destroys the Golden Company without effort.

Before long, the Lannisters throw down their swords. The bells sound. The war is over. Daenerys rules with a firm, but just hand.

JK. Dany goes on a murder spree, deliberately torching the innocent men, women, and children of King’s Landing. This is suddenly in character because the writers committed to six episodes and a heel turn without any idea how they were going to set that up or pull it off.

While Daenerys incinerates nearly a million people for no reason, Euron Greyjoy emerges from the water to stab Jaime in the sides a few times. Jaime shakes it off and kills Euron, but not before Euron announces to no one in particular, “I’m the man who killed Jaime Lannister!” The delivery of that line made it seem Euron was waiting for the laugh track to kick in. It was weird and unnecessary. Had Euron died aboard his boat, it wouldn’t have affected Jaime’s story at all.

As Arya and The Hound close in on the Queen, The Hound realizes this is all going to end badly. For the first time in a long time, Arya looks scared. The Hound convinces Arya to flee. “Sandor, thank you,” she says.

The Hound finally arrives at Cleganebowl. He faces down his undead older brother as The Mountain was escorting Cersei and Qyburn to safety. Cersei asks The Mountain not to fight. Qyburn commands it. But The Mountain is here to battle his brother. He smashes Qyburn against a rock. Cersei skitters down the stairs. It’s on.

The Hound stabs The Mountain several dozen times, including once through the torso. It doesn’t work. The Mountain tries gouging out The Hound’s eyes. The Hound stabs him in the face.

This fight is going nowhere, so The Hound tackles his brother and they crash through a wall, presumably to their deaths.

Jaime meets up with Cersei and they hustle down to the place where the old dragon skulls were kept. The way is blocked. So they stand there and die when rubble falls on them. It’s extremely unsatisfying. There’s a reason people placed money on someone actually killing Cersei. Instead, the assassin is really “a bunch of rocks and gravity.”

Arya spends the rest of the episode stumbling through King’s Landing as it disintegrates around her. She’s unable to save a mother and her daughter. Then a horse shows up and Arya spends an inordinately long time looking at it. She jumps on and rides off and the episode ends.

While this episode was technically well executed, the result left us feeling empty. The deaths for Qyburn, The Mountain, and The Hound were fitting, but Varys, Jaime, and Cersei deserved something more memorable. This episode’s events meant that last week’s tryst with Brienne was ultimately a pointless narrative u-turn. Nearly every development in this episode could have been played for greater emotional stakes. It’s this sense of tremendous missed opportunity that leaves us feeling colder than the Fist of the First Men.

Final score: 1 out of 4 stars

So what happens in the finale? Does it matter? This show is now so far from its origins, we’re setting our expectations very, very low. Gone are the intriguing conversations, political machinations, and strong rivalries. We’re probably in for something dumb and violent, like a moron smashing some beetles. We do hope we’re wrong.

As we race toward the end of “Game of Thrones,” we know that the person who ends up on the Iron Throne may not be the most worthy. They’re also likely not the best person to lead the realm. But if we had to choose someone to lead the seven kingdoms, a closer look at their personality might help.

Our friends at Visme charted out the personalities of some of the show’s biggest personalities (living and dead), and they found that the best leaders would be considered “explorers, drivers, coordinators, and administrators.”

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So how do we come to those designations? Step one is to segment the characters by their personality type. (Take this free test to see your personality!) This puts you into several categories:

• Mind: Introverted (I) or extraverted (E)
• Energy: Observant (S) or intuitive (N)
• Nature: Thinking (T) or feeling (F)
• Tactics: Judging (J) or prospecting (P)

Applying those traits to our “Game of Thrones” characters, we come up with this chart – the characters in the four corners are estimated to be the best possible leaders. (You’ll note that none of these characters is categorized as ENTJ – extraverted, intuitive, thinking, and judging.)

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And here’s the character breakdown by personality type. The characters in bold are estimated to be the best leaders.

• Bran Stark – INFP
• Jon Snow – ISFP, INFJ
• Daenerys Targaryen – INFJ
• Sansa Stark – ESFJ
• Gendry – ISTP
• The Night King – INTJ
• Tyrion Lannister – ENTP
• Arya Stark – ISTP
• Petyr Baelish – INTJ
• Samwell Tarly – INFP
• Cersei Lannister – ESTJ
• Jaime Lannister – ESTP
• Varys – INFJ
• Davos Seaworth – ISFP
• Bronn – ISTP
• Brienne Of Tarth – ISTJ
• Euron Greyjoy – ESTP
• Gilly – ISFP
• Jaqen H’ghar – INTJ
• Jorah Mormont – ISFJ
• Beric Dondarrion – ENFP
• Daario Naharis – ESTP
• Melisandre – INFJ
• The Hound – ISTP
• The Mountain – ISTJ
• Theon Greyjoy – ESFP
• Tormund Giantsbane – ESTP
• Yara Greyjoy – ESTJ

That’s right, friends. Even though you might want Jon or Daenerys to rule Westeros, the realm would be most effective with monsters like Cersei, The Mountain, or The Night King at the helm. (Maybe that explains how your boss rose so high in the company…) Remember, we didn’t say they’d be the best ruler, simply the most effective. No one can deny those characters in the corners get results!

Right now, Bran Stark is the betting favorite to rule Westeros at the end of the season. (He’s followed by Sansa, Jon Snow, and Gendry.) What do you think?

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With the army of the dead defeated, the heroes of “Game of Thrones” now turn their attention to King’s Landing and one final(?) fight. Cersei has proven to be the baddest mother in the seven kingdoms – smart, cunning, ruthless, arrogant, and fearless. She’s frostier than a White Walker sitting on top of The Wall while eating gelato.

But she’s gotta die, right? Or will the Lannister lioness somehow destroy our heroes and keep a grip on the throne? You can actually place a wager on that, and our friends at Visme have whipped up this image to break down the odds:

Arya is getting heavy odds, and she has had Cersei on her death list forever, so she could be the favorite. But narratively, it seems weird to expect the same character to eliminate the Night King and the evil queen.

Jaime has the same odds as Arya. Will he kill his twin sister? Readers of the books know about the prophecy that Cersei will die at the hands of the Valonqar. Remember the witch who told young Cersei she would have three children with golden crowns and golden shrouds?

In the books, that witch also told Cersei that the “Valonqar” would “wrap his hands about your pale white throat and choke the life from you.” The word “Valonqar” translates to “little brother.” So is that a literal prophecy, meaning Jaime or Tyrion? Or is it someone else’s little brother, like The Hound? Because the TV series deliberately omitted that part of the prophecy, that opens the door for another…

Interestingly, Cersei herself gets the third best odds. Will she pull a Tommen and commit suicide?

The fourth most popular theory is that Cersei somehow survives the series! We wouldn’t put it past her.

Here’s your chance to vote on the potential assassins:

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Whether or not Cersei dies, it seems the whole series is leading up to one final question: Who will rule at the end of the show? The odds have already shifted since the preseason speculation. Here’s where things stand now.

Again, what’s your opinion? Do the odds line up with your assessment?

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Congratulations on surviving the Battle of Winterfell, dear reader. You and nearly all of your favorite characters had a pretty harrowing night. In “The Long Night,” we were treated to epic battle scenes, heroic deaths, some incredibly frustrating developments, and a whole lot of dark images.

Major spoilers below…

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When you think of a great war movie like “Saving Private Ryan,” you recognize that much of the impact comes from being introduced to characters you love, then watching them fall. War is hell. People die. The truly great films in that genre wring you out, but leave you feeling that the sacrifice, no matter how great, was worth it. In this episode, only two deaths seemed to leave much impact. That’s a major failure when you consider the scope of this battle. And it seems to betray the ambition that made this show great.

When the series followed the books, anyone could die: Ned Stark, multiple kings, even the happy attendees at a wedding. Khal Drogo was an incredible character who died from an infection he got from a tiny cut. It kept us off-balance and we loved it. Since we’ve passed the books, the series has become significantly more predictable.

When you have a battle that is essentially humanity’s last stand, it’s fine to push all your chips in the middle of the table and lose. What if this battle left Sansa dead? Or Jaime? Or Tyrion? Sure, we’re happy we get more scenes with them, but if this show truly is “Game of Thrones,” we should have lost some major marquee names here. As it was… we lost more beloved characters during the Red Wedding. And that’s odd.

Who dies in Game of Thrones S08E03?

All of the Dothraki?

The episode begins with the perfectly-timed arrival of Melisadre, who asks all the Dothraki to put their arakhs in the air. She uses magic to light them on fire, which looked super cool. Then, for reasons that seem more cinematic than tactical, all the Dothraki charge into an unseen army and all those flaming swords get snuffed. Did it look cool? Sure. But that’s some godawful military planning. Whose idea was that? Anyway, if there are any Dothraki left, we couldn’t tell. Imagine following a dragon queen across the sea only to die in a foolhardy charge. Neat.

Dolorous Edd

The acting Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch does Sam a solid by hacking away an attacking wight (the GoT version of a zombie), then he stands around long enough to get stabbed through the back of the head. Not an unexpected death, but a nice heroic moment

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Lyanna Mormont

The Boss of Bear Island goes out like a champ. Fans seem divided on this death: some loving it, some rolling their eyes. When a giant wight smashes its way into Winterfell, it swats Lyanna aside. When she returns to fight it again, it picks her up and squishes her, but she gets the last laugh by stabbing it in the eye with dragonglass. She could have also just stabbed it in the foot and watched it explode, but we understand this was more cinematic. As much as we loved this character, this moment took us out of the episode, betraying the horrors of the battle in order to deliver a little pat on the head to all the Lyanna fanboys and fangirls.

Beric Dondarrion

The man with the flaming sword jumps into action to defend Arya when the wights overpower her in the castle halls. Our brave one-eyed Brother Without Banners sacrifices himself to help Arya (and The Hound) escape the horde. As Melisandre points out, “The Lord brought him back for a purpose. Now that purpose has been served.”

Theon Greyjoy

As the White Walkers make their way to Bran in the Godswood, Theon and the other Ironborn make a valiant stand. Theon is the last man between Bran and the Night King. Bran turns to Theon and says, “You’re a good man. Thank you.” Theon turns back to the Night King, charges, and gets impaled.

This was the true emotional apex of the episode. The arc of Theon’s heel turn, torture, and eventual redemption spanned nearly the entire series. For a boy who wanted nothing more than his father’s approval, his acceptance finally came from the surrogate little brother he once tried to kill. It was a beautiful moment and a fitting end for a tragic hero.

Jorah Mormont

It’s a tad unbelievable that Jorah somehow survives the charge into the dead army while every Dothraki died. But we’ll give Jorah the Andal the benefit of the doubt. He later comes to the rescue of Daenerys when the wights close in. Jorah dies defending his queen. Unlike the scene with Bran and Theon, there are no parting words for Jorah. He probably deserved a “thank you” from his khaleesi, at the very least.

Melisandre

Talk about your unexpected MVPs! The Red Woman literally comes out of nowhere, hooks up the Dothraki with magic flaming swords, nearly gets herself killed while lighting the trenches on fire, then gives Arya the late-episode pep talk she needs to snap out of her weird funk and go slip a knife into the Night King’s belly. As she promises Davos, she follows through with her own death. After the battle, she slips off her magic de-aging necklace, walks out of Winterfell, grows old, and vanishes.

The Night King and his army

Although the army of the dead really stomped the living, The Night King was no match for the young woman with an unquenchable bloodlust. As The Night King strolls into the Godswood, it appears he’s about to murder Bran. Then, flying out of nowhere, Arya comes at him with the Valyrian steel dagger. He grabs her by the neck, but she drops the dagger into her other hand and plunges it into his stomach. Game over. Every reanimated corpse hits the turf. Arya saved the world. You can hear the “bravos” all the way from Braavos.

Who survives Game of Thrones S08E03?

Basically every other named character

Although this episode was incredibly hard to see, it definitely seems that everyone else who dies is just a no-name character. Miraculous! Plot armor saves characters who definitely should have died. We see Jon’s direwolf Ghost charge the undead with Jorah and the Dothraki, but we don’t see him return. Because he’s been spotted in the teaser for next week’s episode, he must have survived somehow. And although it seems Jon’s dragon (Rhaegal) gets killed in the battle with the undead dragon Viserion, the preview also shows he lives to fight another day. Everyone else you might care about still (improbably) lives: Bran, Sansa, Jon, Daenerys, Arya, Tyrion, Varys, Jaime, Brienne, Podrick, Tormund, Grey Worm, Missandei, The Hound, Sam, Gilly, Baby Sam, and Davos.

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Things that were great about ‘The Long Night’

This episode featured some of the most beautiful images we’ve seen in the show. Among the great visuals? The charge of the flaming swords into the undead army. The dragon fire lighting up the zombies. The overwhelming impact of the dead army slamming into the army of the living. The “World War Z”-style way of the zombies scaling the walls. A giant zombie smashing up Winterfell. The shots of a frantic Jon passing his struggling friends in a last-ditch attempt to rescue Bran. A crazy busted-up Viserion spitting blue flame and thrashing around the castle. The shots of Theon’s final charge. Even Melisandre’s final moments were beautiful.

The setbacks were substantial. The episode did a great job hammering home the enormity of the threat from the undead army. The Dothraki disappeared. Everyone fell back behind the trenches. The storm was so intense, Dany couldn’t see the signal to light the trenches on fire. Melisandre’s trench-fire magic didn’t work until the last moment. The walls were breached. The Night King raised the recently deceased (including the not-so-recently-deceased in the crypt). Sansa and Tyrion looked like they were about to commit suicide together when things got bleak. Theon found himself facing certain death. The two living dragons were eliminated from the fight. Even Arya getting choked was a great way to raise the stakes. The tension was raised at every turn in this episode. We only wish they would have raised them higher by killing off some more beloved characters.

We loved The Hound being The Hound. The man hates fire and he’s a pragmatist. So when everything was going south, he was ready to pack it in. It was the most realistic reaction to the unfolding events. (Certainly more realistic than Samwell Tarly wading into certain death with a pair of dragonglass daggers.)

The music was fantastic. At many points in the episode, the score provided a heartbeat-like rhythm, which added to the tension. When the end came for Theon, the score had switched to incorporate a piano melody of resignation. The only other time the score has used piano was during the setup to Cersei’s wildfire revenge spree at the end of Season 6.

Things that were not so great

The episode was so bloody hard to see. We get it, the battle takes place at night. But we found ourselves straining to see who was alive and who might be getting killed. In some crucial moments, like the battle of the two dragons, it was hard to tell what was happening. Did both dragons die? It seemed like that, but the next episode preview shows that isn’t the case. Some more careful storyboarding might have helped us understand exactly what was going down there.

Again, we were subjected to terrible use of Ghost. Direwolves are supposed to be terrifying beasts. We’ve waited eight seasons to see them shred through a battlefield. Instead, we saw Ghost running alongside Jorah and then vanishing for the rest of the episode. What a terrible missed opportunity to pay off the presumed power of these massive pups.

Bran’s refusal to do anything was frustrating. We get it. Maybe the Three-Eyed Raven is agnostic about what happens to the world. But when the army of the dead is bearing down on you and you warg into ravens only to fly around and do nothing, that’s disappointing. We keep waiting for Bran to warg into a dragon or another person or Ghost. Instead, his little warging adventure delivered no information, didn’t raise the dramatic stakes, and wasn’t enjoyable on any level. Why did he need to warg anyway? What’s the point of having this power if you don’t use it when your entire species is on the line?

This episode featured so much general tactical stupidity. You have some incredibly smart military minds hanging out at Winterfell. The Night’s Watch had that giant scythe thing that wiped the Wildlings off The Wall. Tyrion set up the wildfire ambush of Blackwater Bay. We kept waiting all episode for the humans to pull out an unexpected ace, but the only tactic seemed to involve shoving more bodies into the meat grinder.  There were no flanking maneuvers. No secret weapons. No reinforcements hiding somewhere. Heck, if they’d bothered to install locking metal doors inside Winterfell, they could have kept the zombies contained for a good long while.

To recap, the last ditch effort to save humanity involved flinging a good chunk of your army into the darkness against an unseen enemy, setting some trenches on fire, and then trying to knock the invaders off the walls. When possible, maybe deploy some dragons to spit fire at random. Neat. How long did that plan take you to devise?

The crypt scenes didn’t truly pay off. The best moments? The slow push-in shot of the entrance while people screamed and begged to be let in before being silenced. It was also fantastic when it looked like Sansa and Tyrion might kill themselves. But when the fallen Lords and Ladies of Winterfell were reanimated, it should have been a bloodbath. Instead, a handful of people were killed and people like Varys just sat under an overhang and survived. Again, this would have been a great opportunity to show Tyrion’s quick thinking or Sansa’s leadership abilities. Would it have been too much to ask to see a headless Ned Stark corpse pawing at the living? So many missed opportunities here.

Arya’s momentary freak-out didn’t seem to make sense. She was murdering wights by the dozen, but she suddenly got scared and forgot how to fight. This would have worked better if she had witnessed the death of someone she loved or admired. As it was, she seemed to get scared because she fell down. Then, in the library, where she could have easily dispatched the handful of wights roaming around, she tiptoed around like a coward. Only when Melisandre reminded her of Syrio Forel’s old retort to the God of Death did Arya get her groove back. The entire detour into cowardice doesn’t really fit with what we know of Arya now.

Season 8 Episode 2 review

What happened last week?

Our biggest issue with this episode? Too many survivors. Countless thousands died, but they were also nameless thousands. Sure, Theon died, but the person most affected would be his sister and she wasn’t in this episode. (Sansa will likely be bummed as well, but that’s it.) Dany will be upset about Jorah, but he wasn’t integral to anything. Lyanna and Beric and Edd are tertiary characters at best.

Are we to believe Grey Worm should have survived this assault? The Unsullied valiantly stood their ground to defend the retreat. Had Grey Worm died in that effort, it would have been a fitting end to a great and noble warrior.

Brienne seems to have fulfilled her purpose. Had she died, it would have left a huge hole for Podrick, Sansa, Jaime, and Tormund.

And sure, we like Sam, but he should have died roughly every 30 seconds in this episode. How many times did he end up flat on his back, bleating like a sheep? Someone should poke this dude with Valyrian steel to see if he even bleeds. His plot armor is impenetrable and it’s just silly.

With just three episodes remaining, it’s hard to imagine there will be a better opportunity to provide fitting, poetic, and heartfelt deaths for our heroes. If this series is to be true to its head-spinning beginnings, it needs to slit throats and break hearts.

Ultimately, this episode will be hailed as a fantastic and tense depiction of battle, but other than Theon’s ill-fated charge, there’s precious little emotion that lingers after the credits roll. Compare this to the episode where Hodor died, and you’ll see why this episode falls short of its potential.

Final score: 3 out of 4 stars