On May 11, 1981, Andrew Lloyd Webber made musical history by creating Cats, a show that in London alone ran for almost 9,000 consecutive performances and about 7,500 on Broadway, thus becoming one of the longest-running shows in all of history. However, nobody had dared bring it to theaters because, basically, it’s a concept that can’t work on screen: people dressed as cats singing about themselves. Meow.
I am Gateras the cat, and I buy pears
In 2019, Tom Hooper, who was coming off adapting Les Misérables, decided the time had come for Cats to be adapted properly. He assembled a spectacular star-studded cast, dressed them as cats with CGI… and what everyone ended up talking about was their butthole, which they had to digitally remove. Now Judi Dench, who had never spoken about that experience, has done so openly.
In her memoir, Dench said “Oh, God, I can’t stand it, and Lloyd Webber took such a long time before it got made. What a waste of good intentions and talent. I understand the critics were very hostile, I haven’t seen the final cut so I can’t judge”. The actress was nominated for a Razzie for her performance, and, much as she’s a Hollywood legend, she more than earned it.
“All I’ll say is that nobody sets out to give a bad performance or make a bad film. You do the best you can, give it everything you’ve got and hope people come along for the ride”. The film grossed $78 million against a budget of $100 million, has gone down in history as one of the worst films in history and Hooper, in fact, hasn’t had the nerve to direct again. No wonder. It’s a crime, in a world that adores cats, to make Cats.
