Tomorrow is the Coronation of Carlos III and Twitter is not going to talk about anything else, so it’s your turn to see something you never thought you were going to see.
How are you planning this Saturday: are you going to go to the mountains, do you have dinner with your family, do you want to play with your cat, lie on the sofa and have a series marathon, go to see ‘Guardians of the Galaxy vol.3’? Forget all that! Tomorrow is the Coronation of Charles III and Twitter is not going to talk about anything else, so it’s your turn to watch something you never thought you’d see. No, not Eurovision, that’s next week. Make a note of these milestones on your calendar in Spanish time, because putting a crown on a head has never cost so much effort.
The action begins. The places set aside for people to stand and watch the parade open up and the two giant televisions planned for those standing outside in Green Park and St. James Park are switched on. The first to arrive will be the first to sit down, so we will see some very royalist people sleeping in the streets for pleasure from the day before. The real experience! Early risers will be able to see a couple of hundred members of the Armed Forces doing the parade as a sort of light version of what is to follow.
11.20
The procession will leave Buckingham Palace after 11am and make its way to Westminster Abbey, where there will be a kind of theatre where we will all pretend that the church and the king are 21st century concepts. King Charles and Queen Camilla will travel in the Diamond Jubilee State Coach, a more modern and comfortable carriage than tradition dictates. This is the British monarchy: pure modernity.
12.00
A little after 12 o’clock, the procession will arrive at the abbey and King Charles will enter through the Great West Gate, where he will continue walking past the guests (without being able to say “Man, what’s up, let’s meet for a drink one day”), until he reaches the centre, where he will be crowned in front of the Great Altar. Before him will come representatives of the faith (a way of making this not too archaic), representatives of the Commonwealth countries and Rishi Sunak, the UK Prime Minister whose name you can never remember.
Music lovers will be in luck, because the King has commissioned twelve new pieces to be played during his Coronation, one of them by the creator of ‘The Phantom of the Opera’, Andrew Lloyd Webber. One of them, by the way, by the creator of ‘The Phantom of the Opera’, Andrew Lloyd Webber. While this soundtrack is playing, the sceptre, the crown, the orb and the rest of the royalties that even in the other monarchies have already been set aside for carping will be waiting for him.
The ceremony will last two hours, during which Charles III will be introduced to the whole world, he will be named King and people will say “God save the King”. Then he will sit on the throne, used since the year 1300 and under which the Stone of Destiny will be placed, as if this were a rather ill-conceived game of Dungeons & Dragons. At the end, all those who wish to kneel in front of the King will be able to do so, which may take a long time.
Just before the Coronation Spoon will be used to smear him with oil using olives from the Mount of Olives (as delicious as Spanish olive oil is, what a missed opportunity), but sadly we won’t be able to watch it on television. It will end with communion for those who want to take it and, to the rhythm of the state anthem, the now officially kings will leave the abbey on their way to their reign.
14.00
Riding the Gold State Coach, the couple will travel the same route as on the way out but this time back in a 260-year-old 7-metre gold-filled carriage weighing some four tonnes (in case anyone was thinking of stealing it in the confusion).
15.30
To end the day, the King will wave from Buckingham Palace to the people waiting for him, something that has been done since the coronation of Edward VII in 1902. At that point, Navy planes will fly overhead for six minutes, do a few jibes and let the people go, who will be hungry.
Let's see how, when and where to see this month's big event. We would also tell you what to eat in the meantime, but you pay for the popcorn.
Right now, Charles III will be preparing his best clothes and rehearsing everything he has to say so that on the big day tomorrow, 6 May 2023, he can go out without anyone on the Internet turning him into a meme. It is going to be difficult. And the Coronation is an event that the English are not used to seeing: although their king barely has a 49% popular approval rating, seeing rich people riding in golden chariots is always curious because it feels like travelling back to the Middle Ages without the need for time tunnels. Let’s see how, when and where to watch this month’s big event. We’d also tell you what to eat in the meantime, but the popcorn is on you.
At 11am in the UK, 12am here, King Charles III will give citizens time to wake up, wake up, eat a good breakfast (at least in the Spanish case) and get ready to watch two hours after which they will officially have a new monarch. Interestingly, the event is causing a buzz in the United States, where they imagine England as a place full of monocled, hyper-class people, and will be broadcast on all channels: a global event in every sense of the word.
In reality, though, we’re all more focused on the Take That concertthan anything else.
Where will the Coronation be held?
If you live in London or are on holiday, you’ll have an easy time finding the places it passes through: it’s where all the police are looking at you like you’ve stolen a couple of crowns. Focus on The Mall or Whitehall and you’ll see a whole entourage of royal family and secret service passing by. Spoiler: there will be more of the latter than the former.
If, on the other hand, you’re in Spain but want to watch the momentazo but don’t have a VPN, you’ll be able to watch it on several channels. To start with, on RTVE: La 1 will stop its hectic weekend morning programming to broadcast a special with Carlos Franganillo and Anna Bosch from 11am, which will last until three in the afternoon. It can also be seen on Canal 24 Horas and reminders will be made in the different magazines in the following days. If you think you can take refuge in La 2, I hope you are prepared to watch hours and hours of documentaries about the British crown that are far less entertaining than ‘The crown’.
In Telecinco they couldn’t miss this appointment (imagine!) and they will show ‘Socialité’ for five hours, from ten in the morning to three in the afternoon, with María Patiño as the indelible expert on the subject. “It’s my dream, what a success,” said absolutely no one. On the other hand, La Sexta will give us a bit of peace and avoid the live show with a summary at 13.15 that will last only 45 minutes before the Telediario. On Antena 3 they thought that a whole morning eating reruns of ‘La roulette de la suerte’ and Karlos Arguiñano would be more appealing. They are not wrong.
Supposedly we are looking at a coronation to end all coronations: diverse, multi-ethnic, adapted to the 21st century, different. A little intuition makes us think it’s going to be Stacy Malibu in a new hat. We shall see.
Veamos cómo, cuándo y dónde ver el gran evento de este mes. También te diríamos qué comer mientras tanto, pero las palomitas las pagas tú.
Ahora mismo, Carlos III estará preparándose sus mejores galas y ensayando todo lo que tiene que decir para que el gran día de mañana, 6 de mayo de 2023, salga sin que nadie en Internet le convierta en un meme. Va a ser difícil. Y es que la Coronación es un evento que los ingleses no están acostumbrados a ver: aunque su rey apenas tenga un 49% de aprobación popular, ver a gente rica montada en carros de oro siempre es curioso por sentir que viajas a la Edad Media sin necesidad de túneles temporales. Veamos cómo, cuándo y dónde ver el gran evento de este mes. También te diríamos qué comer mientras tanto, pero las palomitas las pagas tú.
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¿Cuándo será la Coronación?
A las 11 de la mañana en el Reino Unido, 12 de la mañana aquí, el rey Carlos III dará tiempo a los ciudadanos de que se levanten, se desperecen, coman un buen desayuno (al menos en el caso español) y se dispongan a ver dos horas tras las que, oficialmente, tendrán un nuevo monarca. Curiosamente, el evento está causando expectación en Estados Unidos, donde se imaginan Inglaterra como un lugar repleto de gente con monóculo e hiperclase, y se emitirá en todos los canales: un evento global en todos los sentidos.
Aunque en realidad todos estemos más pendientes del concierto de Take That que de otra cosa.
¿Dónde será la Coronación?
Si vives en Londres o estás de vacaciones lo vas a tener muy fácil para encontrar los sitios por los que pasa: es donde está toda la policía mirándote con cara de haber robado un par de coronas. Céntrate en The Mall o Whitehall y podrás ver pasar a toda una comitiva formada por la familia real y el servicio secreto. Spoiler: habrá más de lo segundo que de lo primero.
Si, por el contrario, estás en España pero quieres ver el momentazo pero no tienes VPN, podrás verse en varias cadenas. Para empezar, en RTVE: La 1 parará su trepidante programación mañanera del fin de semana para emitir un especial con Carlos Franganillo y Anna Bosch desde las 11 de la mañana que durará hasta las tres de la tarde. También podrá verse en el Canal 24 Horas y se harán recordatorios en los diferentes magazines en días posteriores. Si crees que puedes refugiarte en La 2, espero que estés preparado para ver horas y horas de documentales sobre la corona británica mucho menos divertidos que ‘The crown’.
En Telecinco no se podían perder esta cita (¡imagina!) y echarán ‘Socialité’ durante cinco horas, de diez de la mañana a tres de la tarde, con María Patiño como experta indeleble en el tema. “¡Es mi sueño, vaya acierto!”, dijo absolutamente nadie. Por otro lado, en La Sexta nos darán un poco de paz y evitarán el directo con un resumen a las 13.15 que durará solo 45 minutos antes del Telediario. En Antena 3 han pensado que toda una mañana comiéndonos repeticiones de ‘La ruleta de la suerte’ y Karlos Arguiñano nos apetecería más. No están equivocados.
Supuestamente estamos ante una coronación para acabar con todas las coronaciones: diversa, multiétnica, adaptada al siglo XXI, diferente. Una pequeña intuición nos hace pensar que va a ser Stacy Malibú con un sombrero nuevo. Veremos.
It may seem like the 15th century, but it is 2023: after 70 years of the reign of Elizabeth II, without ever thinking of abdicating (it is not as if she had shot an elephant, for example), now it is her son Charles who is go in the brown not only to reign, but to endure the coronation ceremony.
The old books tell that when the real Queen of England passed away, her firstborn son took command of the state by anointing the scepter and crown and sinking on the royal throne, receiving the warmth of the subjects outside the palace who were waiting for him lauding him. It may seem like the 15th century, but it is 2023: after 70 years of Elizabeth II’s reign, without at any time thinking of abdicating (it is not as if she had shot an elephant, for example), it is now her son Charles who has to not only reign, but also endure the coronation ceremony.
If he already looks very tired every time he has to attend a royal event, thinking how good he would be watching a movie with Camilla and letting the servants prepare them a Colacao, imagine how he will be throughout the hours and hours of the coronation. After all, she is 74 years old, so she is not ready for this kind of things. On May 6 (that is, this Saturday) we will see (whoever wakes up for it) a historic moment: a whole country pretending to like a man who has been laughed at all his life. Let’s see how they are going to do it.
In case you didn’t get enough of Philip VI’s in 2014 or live in a state where there is no person in power with sacred rights, a coronation is basically the very long act by which the King becomes King. Eight months have passed since the death of Elizabeth II (and eleven since she had tea with Paddington Bear, the pinnacle of her reign) and much of London is going to take to the streets to celebrate the fact that they have a new sovereign.
During the coronation, coincidentally, the crown will be placed on Charles III, a gesture that unites monarchy, church and state in a religious ritual where, in the XXI century, the king will swear before the country and God. In Buckingham they have said that the ceremony will look to the future but something makes us suspect that it will seem as modern as that lemon that has been in your fridge since August 2021 and looks at you with “Please throw me now” eyes.
How long will the ceremony last?
If you were planning to wake up on Saturday at noon with the coronation until the body can take it, prepare a few snacks, because it won’t be short. True, it won’t last three hours like her mother’s (and any current blockbuster), but it will last two hours. After all, the ceremony has been repeated for a millennium, so it’s well thought out: don’t expect Shakira to suddenly come out and sing four things to Piqué or for the guests to wear dresses worthy of the MET gala. It’s going to be an austere affair, except for the gold, the diamonds, the scepter and the crown and the absolute power in the hands of one person.
2KG9XWE King Charles III and the Queen Consort during the State Banquet held at Buckingham Palace in London, during the State Visit to the UK by President Cyril Ramaphosa of South Africa. Picture date: Tuesday November 22, 2022.
What is going to happen?
It will be more or less like the Holy Mass on La 2 but with much more luxury. The Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, will be the presenter of the ceremony, which will begin with Charles III saying who he is and introducing himself to the people. He will then be sworn in and anointed with holy oil, something that, despite the hilarious memes it would give, we won’t see. Too bad no one thinks of Twitter in those moments.
Afterwards, the king will dress in coronation robes and be invested wearing the orb, the coronation ring and a bunch of other junk that will then go to the Tower of London until William picks up the baton in a couple of years. At the end of the ceremony he will approach the throne, put on the crown and the only prince who still cares about all this will kneel before his father. Afterwards, the subjects will go on to do the same in an exercise as archaic as it is, truth be told, aerobic.
Which crown will you wear?
It is hard to believe that the Crown of St. Edward weighs only two and a bit kilos. At a time of inflation and in which the differences between classes are increasingly notorious, the British monarchy will put on the head of a lord a crown with 444 precious stones (sapphires, rubies, amethysts, etc.). The artifact in question has existed since Charles II was king in 1661 and must remain in Westminster Abbey.
When you leave, so that your bald head does not suffer from the sun, they will put on another one: created in 1937, the Crown of the Imperial State has only 2868 diamonds, including one of the largest in the world (Cullinan II). After its mass bath ends at St. Edward’s Chapel, the King will have to leave it ready to be returned to Buckingham Palace. How lazy to ask for a Glovo at such moments, but that’s the way it is.
Will there be a procession?
There will indeed be a procession. Two, in fact, through the streets of London. One to go to be crowned and the other already crowned. So that no one thinks of doing something crazy, the King will be protected by fighter planes, 29,000 police and other anti-terrorist deployment. In total he will go by carriage (the Diamond Jubilee State Coach) to and from London (the famous Gold State Coach) for 2.09 kilometers. Very austere.
The Queen, in her day, made a procession of 8 kilometers, but it was another era. In both processions the king will make the same way, from Buckigham Palace to Westminster Abbey through The Mall and Whitehall. Just as you take a nice little Saturday stroll to go for a coffee and a doughnut, Charles III takes it to put a crown on his head. There have always been classes.
How much is the coronation going to cost?
Because sure, your coffee and donut cost two and a bit euros, but a coronation like this doesn’t look cheap, does it? You’re right… although we don’t know the exact figure. We’re supposed to get it sooner or later, yes, in a supposed exercise of transparency from the least transparent king. And that’s saying something. The excuse for this insane spending of money is the usual one: maintaining the claim that the Crown gives more money than it takes away. “More than a billion is expected to enter the economy as a result of this Coronation,” the palace has said.
Basically, the idea is that the more they spend, the more they gain in every way: as more than a hundred important pieces of British politics will attend, they will have the opportunity to chat and get to know each other. Ah, if only we had a simple tool to be able to talk to someone in real time wherever you are! We’ll have to wait for the next coronation. From the British Crown they have also said that, to save costs, Charles has reused many ceremonial elements instead of ordering new ones. We will call him the Marie Kondo of kings.
Is Camilla going to be queen, and what about the family?
Camilla will be anointed queen but will not receive a crown made specifically for her, but will wear the crown of Mary, the wife of George V: when, in 1911, she paid the crown full of gems, she did it expecting that all future consorts would wear it, and they will comply. Of course, she will make changes to it. Nothing, four little things, such as putting on three of the largest diamonds in the world, owned by Elizabeth II. “To honor her memory,” he says. Typical memory honored with three diamonds the size of my fist.
For his part, Harry will attend but Meghan will stay in California with her two children sipping a daiquiri and taking a dip in the pool. No one can blame her. The official excuse is that her son Archie is four years old, but really she wouldn’t have attended the ceremony even at gunpoint. For his part, the king’s brother, Andrew, will also attend, although he no longer works in the royal family, so it’s time to rest and get away from the hard work of charging millions for a testimonial position.
At the ceremony we can expect familiar faces: more than a hundred mandatories from around the world, including Jill Biden and, it is assumed, the King and Queen of Spain. Instead of the 8000 people his mother invited, Carlos III has invited only 2000. And you thought your group of friends was big, huh?
What else is going to happen that weekend?
First there will be a concert at Windsor Castle where Lionel Richie, Katy Perry and Take That will sing. In addition, people will be urged to prepare a fancy meal to celebrate having a new sovereign. Of course, different places in the UK will have special illuminations and, perhaps most importantly, Monday will be a holiday for all Brits. Finally something we all understand.
The coronation is here, and it looks like this king is willing to be more modern than Elizabeth II. It doesn’t look like he’s opening a TikTok tomorrow, but at least he’s opening his doors to (supposed) austerity. We’ll have to see. For the moment, it’s time to celebrate: any excuse is a good one for a nice meal.
At the coronation of Charles III, the monarch that no one thought would reign, his son Harry will go to see the medieval ceremony with 21st century means… but without his wife Meghan.
Ah, yes, the British crown. The one we in Spain know from the jokes in British series, the Zapato Veloz song about Lady Di that said “She hooked up with Charles the Ears, the most handsome Anglo-Saxon” and the messes of ‘The Crown’. There have been no elephant hunts or escapes to Abu Dhabi, but instead they’ve had conversations about tampons and children who are no longer speaking to each other. Today, at the coronation of Charles III, the monarch no one thought would ever reign, his son Harry will go to watch the medieval ceremony with 21st century means… but without his wife Meghan. Drama.
Let’s put you in a little situation, because the truth is that we have enough in Spain to get involved in what they do in the UK: in January 2020, Harry and Meghan Markle decided that they did not want to do monarchical tasks (like going to hospitals or boring masses) and they preferred to dedicate themselves to prepare series for Netflix and do controversial interviews with Oprah Winfrey. Since she brought up the family’s dirty laundry in that interview, Harry and his family have completely broken ties. Well, sort of.
Meghan Markle, former actress, current children’s story writer, series creator and brat, does not go down well with the British crown. And knowing all the problems she has brought to it, she has decided not to go to the coronation of her father-in-law, a tough decision that, no doubt, will have received with tears in her eyes while she takes a croissant in her robe and starts watching the last season of ‘The Crown’ while Harry is not at home.
King Charles has said that the gesture of inviting his son is a way of letting him know of his “love for Harry and Meghan as they continue to build their lives in another country”. Come on, I love you very much, but far away. According to gossip, Harry and his brother have not spoken to each other since 2020 and do not even share a car (on the other hand, they are princes, they do not need to make a Blablacar) nor are they fond of each other.
That Meghan did not attend the coronation has been seen as something predictable by the always incisive British press (if one day you go to the UK, do not miss the covers of the tabloids: they are a thousand years ahead of us), who believe that it has been the lesser evil: better not to go to eliminate the drama. In the end, it is not so different from that time when your cousin Fernando got married and his brother’s girlfriend had to work and nobody changed his day. Only with crowns and long suits.
Meghan and Harry are still working on themselves, meanwhile. Literally: in addition to the interview they have released books and docuseries based on their couple and their bravery to break with a family that gave them the paycheck when they were already multimillionaires for the rest. A bit like the teenager who has a millionaire father and goes to New York for a year to reflect.
Mind you, Harry has made it clear that the ball is in the Brits’ court: “We need a constructive conversation, one that can happen in private and not be leaked”. If you’ve seen ‘Spencer’ you’ll already know that’s not so simple. And if you haven’t, take something away from this article in addition to a little bit of bitchiness: a very nice recommendation.
