Not all news related to cinema can be about glamour, premieres, trailers, and handsome actors posing on red carpets. Sometimes, well, we have to talk about what no one wants to talk about: Tom Hanks, Martin Short, and Steve Martin competing to be the first to have a colonoscopy. I wish this were the beginning of a joke or something similar, but it is the stark reality of day-to-day life in Hollywood. It’s ridiculous.
Race to the bathroom
If you think about the houses of actors, you probably imagine large mansions filled with sculptures, millions flowing out the door of one of their thousands of rooms, dinners with lobster, whiskey, and dessert… But, apparently, the reality is much more mundane than it seems, at least if you believe what the very Tom Hanks says: “Every five years or so, that magical date arrives, we gather, eat gelatin and compete to see who is the last to go to the bathroom. And it goes hand in hand“.
That’s right: the three legendary actors compete to see who will be the first to get the scheduled colonoscopy the next day, and they use a very simple system: “We are fighting with ourselves and playing cards, because the first to go will be the last in the colonoscopy. The last to go will be the first, so we are all saying ‘No, I… I have to go!’ and then you go and you can’t hold it anymore”. Ah, the glamour.
And you may ask: How is this competition possible? Don’t they have several bathrooms in their mansions? Well, apparently, Steve Martin has only one. However, when they finish, they go to the clinic together and afterwards they go to drink margaritas. Indeed, the bathroom is worthy of a season premiere in Only Murders in the Building.
