We have come across the church. And it is that sometimes we forget that, after giving the sermon every day, priests also have a life: they take off their cassock and go shopping at the supermarket, have a drink at the bar and watch the game or listen to heavy metal, depending on what they feel like. Or, why not, play some video games. God understands not putting in extra hours praying. The problem is that there has been one who has gone a little overboard with heavenly forgiveness.
Candy Crush, amen
Pottstown is a small town in Montgomery County, Pennsylvania, named after its founder, John Potts, and home to about 23,000 people who even have their own newspaper (‘The Mercury’, the smallest media outlet to ever win two Pulitzer Prizes), their own television, and, of course, a proper cathedral. That’s where Reverend Lawrence Kozak, 51 years old, delivers his sermons. Or, well, used to.
And it turns out that Kozak likes to play with his mobile phone, maybe too much. So much so that when a church accountant discovered “an astronomical amount of transactions from Apple” between September 2019 (when the reverend entered the church) and July 2022. And what abominations has this sinner spent the money on? Well, on microtransactions from ‘Candy Crush’ and ‘Mario Kart Tour’ that added up to 40,000 bucks, in addition to an Amazon tablet for his goddaughter.
Regarding the authorship of the events, there is not much doubt: the gifts were sent with a note that said “Uncle Larry”. When the police spoke to him, the priest claimed not only that he was seeking a solution to his gambling problems, but that these problems were based not on betting, but on spending thousands of dollars on items to gain advantages in games. Forgive me, father, for I have played.
Lawrence Kozak no longer preaches in Pottstown, he is reformed and has already returned $8,000 to the church, although he still owes another $32,000 to be at peace. As for whether he continues to play ‘Candy Crush’, but this time without paying extra to advance levels, that’s between him and Jesus.