5 most frustrating levels in gaming history

See the levels that made us rip our hair out.

The purpose of a video game is singular; they are meant to help us forget about our stressful lives for a few hours by providing us with a fun, stimulating experience. Sometimes, game developers forget about this basic and obvious concept, which is the only explanation we can think of as to why these levels exist. You all know what we’re talking about: those levels that are so insanely frustrating that you see red and throw your controller in a futile, primal effort to exert some sort of control over the game.

This article will be filled with spite and ANGER as we will never forgive these levels for wasting hours of our precious childhoods.

5.  Level 2 – The Lion King

lion king game hardest levels ever

Making a game based on the most beloved animated movie of all time seems like a no-brainer right? The Lion King video game sold millions of copies on SNES, Sega Genesis, and PC, but most people never made it past the second level. This level, based on the movie’s colorful “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King” song, is one of the most notoriously frustrating levels in all of gaming. It’s a combination of many factors: the confusing maze of monkeys (think Donkey Kong Country’s barrel cannons but worse), the incredibly precise double jump segment, and missing jumps and slamming into trees.

Difficult levels have their place in games, sure. But why would you make the second level so hard and confusing, especially in a game aimed at children? Whoever designed this level deserves to be fed to lions at their local zoo.

4. Pachinko Machine- Super Mario Sunshine

Super Mario Sunshine often gets unfairly criticized compared to its contemporaries. It didn’t revolutionize gaming like Super Mario 64, and it didn’t have the brain-twisting worlds of Super Mario Galaxy, but in our opinion, it deserves to stand tall among the other 3D Mario classics.

What it DOES need to get criticized for is its collection of extremely frustrating levels. It’s like the genius designers of 3D Mario games saved all their horrible level ideas and sprinkled them throughout Sunshine. Who could forget cleaning the electric manta ray goop off the beach? Or the surgical precision required to roll a watermelon down a hill for the Watermelon Festival? Even among all that madness, the pachinko level stands out as the most maddening level in Mario history.

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now but let it be known: pachinko machines are not fun. They are barely more stimulating than slot machines, and the only reason people tolerate them is that they sometimes give you money. There is absolutely zero circumstance where we want to play a pachinko machine for the sole purpose of entertaining ourselves. This frustration increases tenfold when Mario is the pachinko ball, the camera is unusable, and the controls are incredibly tedious and imprecise. Even getting to the level is an enormous pain because you have to wait for gaming’s slowest boats to take Mario to the secret entrance.

3. Blighttown – Dark Souls

blighttown most frustrating levels ever dark souls

For those who have played Dark Souls, this entry requires zero explanation. For those who haven’t, let us try to explain.

In the original release of Dark Souls, Blighttown was barely functional from a technical standpoint. It was the only area of the game with significant frame drop, and it felt like playing a slideshow at certain points. While this was horrible, this issue was fortunately fixed in newer versions of the game.

Even without all of the technical issues, Blighttown is still a nightmare in a game specifically marketed as a grueling, unforgiving slog. The first part of the level is vertically based, meaning that one wrong step sends you plummeting to your doom. The place is littered with masked blow dart shooters, who fire poisonous darts that are so hard to see that they mine as well be microscopic. And if more than two darts hit you, God help you, because you’re going to be dying a slow death via poison.

Even if you make it to the bottom of that hellish wooden structure, the bottom of the level is a giant swamp. You’re forced to walk through the swamp to proceed, and the bog water not only slows you down but is poisonous for good measure. Game mechanics that slow movement are unfun, getting poisoned is unfun, and all you’re left with in Blighttown is a swampy stew of misery.

The biggest slap in the face is that the boss you fight at the end of this swampy hellhole is one of the easiest in the entire game. It should be noted, however, that this may just be due to players channeling their intense, unbridled Blighttown rage onto the poor creature.

2. Turbo Tunnel – Battletoads

battletoads turbo tunnel frustrating

The NES days were filled with difficult games. For some sadistic reason, developers thought that because they couldn’t make very long games, they should make very difficult games, because if you retry a level ten thousand times that technically adds more replay value! Nowhere is this more important than level 3 of Battletoads.

Battletoads is already an incredibly difficult game, but this fun little racing section is what truly cements its place in the depths of Hell. The player must memorize a blazing fast race course in order to dodge and jump over barriers. Seriously, just look at this:

We know several people who played this game growing up but we don’t know a single person who has beaten this level. The Battletoads devs must’ve been a huge inspiration to the Lion King devs because this racing section also appears early in the game. Apparently, the concept of a gradual difficulty curve was not invented back then, and for that reason, we wish unending misery and a plague of frogs upon the Battletoads team.

1. Minecart Levels – Donkey Kong Country series

donkey kong country mine cart levels frustrating

We have a love-hate relationship with the Donkey Kong Country series. While it was one of our favorite franchises, there are so many rage-inducing unholy levels that it was hard to narrow it down for this list. From the icy barrel cannon level, to the suffocating water levels, to literally EVERY parrot level, the DKC games were chock-full of sadistic, blackhearted level designs.

Still, even among all of the trials and tribulations that the poor apes must face, nothing in the series compares to the minecart levels. Unlike other levels, minecart sections have you uncontrollably speeding ahead in a cart on a track, leaving you with little control of your own fate. It’s up to you to have an Olympic level of reflexes and spatial awareness to make pixel-perfect jumps, dodge enemies, and hit fuel/timer barrels.

These levels are examples of the worst humanity has to offer. They filled us with a white-hot rage, the type of rage that causes rational men to do irrational things. Through burning tears and sweaty palms, we eventually managed to beat these levels, but not without sacrificing a part of my soul. To whoever designed these levels, you can take a golden banana and shove it where the sun don’t shine.

What was the most frustrating level you ever played? Let us know (or don’t, and spare us from suffering).

How Nintendo can make 2D Mario fresh again

Is Nintendo stuck in a creative rut? Here’s how they can break out.

How Nintendo Can Make 2D Mario Fresh Again

Nintendo just released New Super Mario Bros. U Deluxe to critical praise and high sales. The game is an enhanced port of the Wii U’s New Super Mario Bros. U that includes the game’s New Super Luigi U expansion. The game is the latest installment in the New Super Mario Bros. series, meaning it’s a well-made 2D Mario platformer. The game is a perfectly serviceable 2D Mario game, offering tight, challenging gameplay and a large amount of content. Something just feels missing from the whole package, however. If New Super Mario Bros. U Deluxe is fun and well-made, then why is it not exciting? Why is the release of a new Super Mario Bros. game, arguably the most iconic and successful franchise in all of gaming, not a bigger deal?

A problem with packaging

There are four games in the New Super Mario Bros. series: New Super Mario Bros., New Super Mario Bros. Wii, New Super Mario Bros. 2, and New Super Mario Bros. U. Without looking it up, I’d like you to try and point out which game is which on the screenshot below:

New Super Mario games

Pretty hard isn’t it? That’s what happens when four games come out with the exact same art style. When the original NSMB released for the DS in 2006, it was legitimately “new.” It was the first time we saw a 2D Mario game with 3D models and the streamlined modern Mario art style. This quickly wore thin as three more games were released with the exact same art style within six years. Sure, the games look nice and colorful, but they look absolutely sterile in comparison to series’ like Donkey Kong Country, Wario Land, or Rayman. Take a look at how the classic 2D Mario games looked in comparison to each other:

Classic Mario games

These games were much, much more distinguishable from each other. Like the NSMB games, they appeared on different consoles, but they remained distinct by having different art styles and a degree of stylization in each. By stylization, we mean creating an art style that differs from the standard Mario fare, telling the player instantly that they’re in for a brand new and different experience, with a great example being the Paper Mario series’ storybook aesthetic. Back then, it was exciting to have a new 2D Mario game come out because it was a wholly different experience than the last one. Even the music of the NSMB series has remained very similar throughout the years. Compare the overworld track from the original NSMB to one from NSMBU.

While the upbeat guitars and cheerful “BAH!” sounds that made up NSMB’s soundtracks were different and cute at the time, the style has worn far past thin when it’s still in use over six years later. Aesthetically, the NSMB is comparable to the Madden franchise in how little it evolves throughout the years. It’s highly disappointing that the series shows so little growth and creativity, as other recent Mario games show that Nintendo is still able to make masterful and creative worlds.

Last year’s Super Mario Odyssey saw Nintendo taking plenty of risks with the Mario formula, and with a huge payoff. The game saw Mario exploring a city with realistic humans, exploring an ancient waterfall complete with dinosaurs, bouncing around on stylized polygonal food, and invading Bowser’s samurai castle. The theming of Odyssey is a far cry from NSMB’s standard formula of plains-desert-ice-lava. Even within NSMB, Nintendo has shown flashes of creative brilliance, like with the painted world in NSMBU, but these levels are extremely few and far in between.

Painted World

How to shake things up

In this writer’s humble opinion, a nice way Nintendo could shake up the 2D Mario series is with a 2D hand-drawn art style. While making a game like this is extremely time-consuming, the end result is a fluid and detailed looking game that clearly had a lot of passion put into it. Take a look at Wario Land: Shake It! below, as it uses hand-drawn animation and looks absolutely gorgeous.

Wario himself has hundreds of different animations, giving him tons of character and personality. Over the years, Mario has lost a distinct personality, becoming a sanitized and quirkless entity that serves more like a mascot than a character. 2D hand-drawn animation could go a long way in giving Mario and the crazy world he lives in the personality it deserves. Making levels feel like a cohesive, lived-in world as opposed to a series of tiles would add significantly to the atmosphere and theming of the game.

Honestly, gameplay-wise, the 2D Mario series doesn’t need to change much. Throughout the NSMB series, Nintendo has proved that they are still masters of level design and fluid controls. The additional moves like the triple jump, wall jump, and mid-air spin are also all welcome inclusions to Mario’s moveset, and they should definitely stay.

The problem lies more in the gameplay being hampered by safe theming, leading to uncreative level design. Nintendo has also shown that they’re capable of making memorable characters in the Mario universe, as shown by spinoff games like Paper Mario and Mario & Luigi. Including these wackier characters as playable characters, allies, enemies, and bosses would give the game a more unique feel. Ditching the Koopalings and replacing them with original bosses alone would go a long way. Instead of just Mario, Luigi, and a couple of Toads, let players choose Wario, Waluigi, Donkey Kong, or some of the more obscure Mario RPG characters like Geno or Fawful. It’s a shame that NSMB only showcases the blandest and safest side of the Mario universe because the Mushroom Kingdom is actually a rich and colorful world full of interesting characters.

By revamping the aesthetics and exploring the more surreal side of the Mario universe, Nintendo can start getting people excited about 2D Mario games again. The New Super Mario Bros. series, while solid games in their own right, have stifled the Mario series creatively and should be totally revamped. Hopefully, Nintendo switches things up, and the announcement of a new 2D Mario game can be the big deal that it’s supposed to be.

What do you think of these suggestions? Have any of your own? Let us know!

5 best winter levels in games

Stay cool with these classic winter levels.

There’s no better way to wrap up the holidays than by revisiting gaming’s best winter levels (there are probably better ways, but let’s forget about those for now). Many games over the years have tried to capture the spirit of the holiday season, but these five games showed the greatest holiday cheer.

5 best winter levels in video game history

5. Cool Cool Mountain – Super Mario 64

So cool, it had to be said twice, Super Mario 64’s Cool Cool Mountain was the first time gamers got to see a well-done winter level in 3-D. This iconic winter romp has Mario fighting snowmen and searching the mountain for lost penguin babies. The challenge that most gamers probably remember is the intense slide race against the giant mama penguin. You can slide into a certain spot on the wall to skip half the course, but the penguin will see through your treacherous ways and scold you for cheating. In retaliation, you can hurl her precious baby off of a cliff.

I’m sorry, little one

You can listen to Cool Cool Mountain’s iconic music below, but it’s not quite the same without the ear-piercing shrieking of the baby penguins.

4. Ice Cap Zone – Sonic the Hedgehog 3

Many fans consider Sonic 3 to be the best in the trilogy (yes, trilogy. There never was a Sonic 4). The game expands upon the fast-paced, momentum-based platforming of previous entries by adding plenty of power-ups and more complex, explorable levels. Ice Cap Zone is a particular standout. The level ramps up the attitude right away by putting Sonic on a snowboard.

Back in the ’90s, Sonic’s cocky attitude let him stand out against other video game mascots and putting him on something as tubular as a snowboard solidified him as the coolest of the cool. Sure you’re forced to crash the snowboard pretty quickly, but it’s still pretty awesome. Oh, and we need to discuss the music:

The game’s soundtrack had input from none other than Michael Jackson. For the Ice Cap Zone, in particular, Jackson brought in Brad Buxer, keyboardist of The Jetzons. While some have said that Ice Cap Zone contains interpolations/samples of MJ’s Smooth Criminal, there is no doubt that the song is a repackaging of The Jetzons song “Hard Times”.

“Hard Times” didn’t actually get a formal release until 2008 as part of a Jetzons compilation record. Both versions of the song sound amazing, and Sonic’s connection to Michael Jackson is definitely one of the more mysterious pieces of gaming trivia.

3. Snow Barrel Blast – Donkey Kong Country

This list entry is a little bit different, as I don’t actually like this level at all. In fact, I despise Snow Barrel Blast with every fiber of my being, and now I finally have a chance to talk about it. The slippery ground and the barely-controllable barrel cannons were the bane of my existence when I was 8 years old, and it still took me like 20 tries to beat this level as a grown-ass man.

The Donkey Kong Country games are amazing, but they are filled with absolutely brutal levels. Even among all the other BS levels, Snow Barrel Blast stands out as a Herculean test of patience and rage control. There is nothing more soul-crushing than seeing your helpless Kong fly into the freezing abyss because you missed one barrel cannon shot out of 25109837. I wish I could meet the designer of this level so I could rip their cold, black heart out of their chest with my bare hands.

Music’s pretty great though.

2. Your Town – Animal Crossing

This entry may not technically be an actual level, but the Animal Crossing games handle winter so well there’s no way I could leave them off the list. The Animal Crossing games run in real time, so the in-game seasons reflect the real-life ones. Various festive items pop up around your town in winter. Pine trees suddenly become covered in Christmas lights. Snowmen heads appear, requiring you to roll them an appropriate body. Villagers build igloos where they host cozy minigames and cook delicious chowder.

The whole winter season culminates in Toy Day, a non-denominational winter celebration that features a reindeer named Jingle dressed as Santa. In New Leaf, Jingle lets the player dress as Santa and deliver the presents directly to their neighbors, giving them the perfect way to spread holiday cheer.

The chowder song soothes my soul and it’ll probably soothe yours too.

1. Freezeezy Peak – Banjo-Kazooie

The best winter level of the 64-bit era, Freezeezy Peak is a masterpiece of theming and level design. The level features a friendly giant snowman that you can climb and slide down, in addition to several very unfriendly snowmen who chuck snowballs at you with unflinching accuracy. Seriously, those snowy bastards could hit a gnat’s eye three miles away while blindfolded, and it doesn’t help that you constantly hear their evil laughter echoing throughout the level.

In addition to snowmen, the level also features defenseless talking Christmas lights, sliding walruses, and sledding polar bears. The level absolutely nails the Christmas atmosphere, which is really impressive considering the limitations of early 3-D game design. As with most levels in Banjo-Kazooie, the level feels more like a lived-in world than a 3-D playground, giving the game plenty of character. Freezeezy Peak is gaming’s standout winter level even with all of those hellish snowmen.

Plus, the music sounds like something out of a stop-motion Christmas classic.

Any festive levels we missed? Let us know!